shell

we made a practice of saving the shells
after the yolk made boredum in its stuck.
thumbs for implements. nails to sunlight.
here i come here i come. you ask me 
what it is what it is. heaven in the fracture.
ostrich sharp i came down. bathtub 
for the blue bird. you never let me be
fragile. i mistook eggs for bulbs.
house reaked with dark. i blame the yellow 
& the absent infant. a cord could be
pulled for the trap door or a mother.
in the living room i plucked from my feet.
you cut the eyelids off the house. dressed
in nothing but deep. blood pact after
blood pact as if they were going
to fix the open. a scar the length 
of manhattan taking up space in my hard drive.
if i could drive backwards i would find a way
to return us to the dead grass & 
the don't worry. dead flowers by the stove.
rustling not of leaves. egg forest
always waiting behind another door.
birds working like factory--no like
soldiers. everything is battleship
but especially escape. i make hatches & handles
of my bones. you once sewed my likeness
into the membrane. it looked nothing like me
but what is an "i" from the other vantage
but also the same "i" ? what will be left
after the shells are tamed?
made necklace or contraceptive?
i wore a ring around my neck 
like a trophy case. you said it looked
as if i were trying to make new friends.
the yolk was beautiful though. thick 
& ready for density. ready to feed
the non-existent chicken. my feathers
are dew-damp & not drying. nail clippings 
in the mix. i'm not going to use the stilts 
when i stumble back. i'm going 
to eat well tonight.