eating cows in the pasture everything is hungry. the grass waves goodbye goodbye goodbye to a beloved cocoon hanging from the day-moon. we never meant to. walked out there with bibs & forks. my brother & i & our short round fingers. when i first became vegetarian carrots started to speak to me & ask "what is your favorite kind of listening?" i'd swallow them whole like submarines. but the cows. the cows know what we intend. they lay down as if to predict rain but the sky is bright & loud. sun braiding my arm hairs. we used to shave our faces down to the bone. feel that gutted glistening in the wild night's bath. now, all we can do is chase them around the yard. hoof to soil. soil to rock. rock to core. i want to be ground & grounded. lightning's brief forest. holding hands with cows & promising them not to eat them. no more dinners. nothing to see here. all fours. the animal's fortune eyes. in them we see our faces warped & weary. drinking from the river's tea. sleepy with lack of protein. one cow eats another gently as can be. bite by bite. wipes his month on the grass. the devoured cow just closing her eyes. i don't know anymore what it might mean to feed. a video of a man chewing is projected on the moon. i cover my eyes. my brother says, "you first" & i don't know what exactly he means but i start anyway. forks in my pocket. cows, scattering. grass waving goodbye goodbye.