we slaughtered the sun to eat.
hallelujah hallelujah. but this angered
the telephones who screamed
as we ate in the verdant darkness
of the emptied moon. we always said
we would stop ourselves & then we were
ourselves. you were devouring
& so i sat & thought, "so should i."
i wish i was better at deciphering
the difference between love & consumption
because in the moment all i am is frenzy
& yes please take my leg & dear god
the screen is bright. we ran & ran
across the church grounds. the mary statue
wept blood as it always does.
the angels set fire to mailboxes.
"i'll call you when i get home,"
i always say & then i never do. i wonder
if this is a spell. if i am then
never home. we said we would all
bring something for dinner. we were
communitying so well until the bus arrived
full of new sockets to plug our teeth into.
the new planets will be powered
by yearning. there's enough room
in the church for a dinosaur & yet
we leave it empty at night. i no longer
have reverence for empty spaces.
the sun in me promises, "we will
be giants." then, i see the pigeons
& i think, "maybe i should get out
while i can." when you ask someone else
to bring a feast you will get
all their knuckles too.
when this is over will you come
& be an individual with me.
i want to live in a cabin in the middle
of a word. let's pick a word
like "sonder" where only fellow freaks live.
i do not want to commune or communion.
not now. not anymore.